Have you ever been told that your happiness was selfish? I bet you have. “They” say concern for our own well being is something that should really be at the bottom of our list in terms of priorities or that we are being greedy or petty when we take our own happiness into account. The truth is that when we make our happiness a priority good things happen for us and for those around us. In fact, the contagiousness of feeling good virtually guarantees that if we are happy, we are making the world a better place for those we love the most.
By the way, when I am talking about making your own happiness a priority, I am not talking about thinking only of your own needs. Please don’t say to yourself “OK, Rob says my happiness is important, so I’m going to stuff my face full of poutine, buy a red convertible on credit and move to Antigua with a bunch of bathing suit models because that will make me happy!”
I am crazy about these guys. Have you heard “The Rain Song”? Wow.
I’m not talking about living like we’re Led Zeppelin in 1976, or Russel Brand in 2002, I’m talking about making our daily happiness something that we care about and take into consideration.
Believe it or not, this takes discipline. It is attained not so much by going after our every sensory based desire (although, I’m all for sensory based desires) but by doing simple activities that have been proven to make us feel good, right now and in the long term as well.
“Happiness is contagious” is said so often that its a bit of a cliche, but did you know that its actually, quantifiably true? A little out fit called The Harvard Medical School (you may have heard of them) did a study called “Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study” (which is really such a catchy title that it should be a pop song by Katy Perry).
“Hey Everybody, I hope you like my new hit Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network ! Woo hoo!
In this study they found that if you were a friend of someone and lived within 1 mile of them your chance of being happy went up by 25%! Wow! If we can extrapolate (and heck why not?) that would mean that by being happy ourselves, we are actually increasing the chances of our friends and family who live close to us by 25%. Really, you are doing the world a huge chunk of good if you are happy. Isn’t that great? I think it is. So, to answer our first question, Is your happiness selfish? Nope! In fact, you being happy is one of the most generous things you can do for the world.
What kind of ridiculous question is that? Isn’t “being happy” supposed to be the holy grail of human experience? We each go through our lives trying to achieve things we have determined will finally help us “be happy”. This can include making more money, getting that promotion, being thinner, winning that award, getting that degree, looking like Brad Pitt, and a plethora of other goals with the hopeful result that, if we just get that thing, then we will be finally, blissfully happy.
This is a picture of Brad Pitt
Do you want to know something terrific? You don’t need to reach all of your goals to “be happier” now. Right now, as you are reading this, you can “do happiness”.
“Doing Happiness”? But how?
What is your posture while you are reading this? If you are slouched down on your couch and kind of hunched over in a funky way, then chances are you’re not going to be feeling as good as you could be. If you are sitting (or standing) upright, with a straight back and breathing deeply then you are more likely to feel good. Go ahead and try it. If you are slouched, shift your posture so that your back is straight. Now put a big smile on your face. It doesn’t even matter if it’s a fake smile. Just paste a big goofy grin on your face. Studies have shown (and you’ll get the skinny on that later) that by shifting your posture and physically smiling you can have a direct and measurable effect on your present level of happiness and mood. See that? You just “did happiness” and this is just the tiniest tip of the iceberg. This is what this book is about- teaching simple strategies to incorporate “doing happiness” into our daily lives.
But Isn’t Happiness Over-rated?
I don’t think so, and I hope to prove it to you as you read on. There are many who believe that happiness is not enough of a benefit or a satisfactory goal. Sure there is wonderful research that doing simple things every day will make us feel better, regardless of our present circumstances, but so what?
And does it matter?
What are all the things that happiness does for us?
What happiness does for us.
The evidence has shown that “being happy” in and of itself, brings great improvement to almost all areas of our lives. This is where things get interesting.
When we feel happy, good things tend to happen more often and more consistently. In fact, many studies have shown that when we feel happy, we become:
-more productive, -more creative, -better at our jobs, – we have better relationships, -we are far healthier (we even live longer if we’re happier), -we are perceived as more attractive, -we tend to make more money,
That’s a pretty impressive list, don’t you think?
So, is being happy the end in itself? Or is happiness the way we get all of these terrific benefits? It doesn’t actually matter, because once we are happy, we get all this great stuff, which will then, help us be happier. You see how that works? It’s a virtuous cycle. Who cares if the chicken or the egg came first when we can have both?
How I feel when coffee is ready.
The idea of “doing happiness” can run contrary to a lot of our established societal beliefs. We are often taught that we need to “earn” our happiness. That satisfaction and joy must only come after tremendous amounts of hard work and sacrifice. I mean, you can’t just go around “doing happiness”, you must earn it so you deserve it. This just isn’t true. However, if hard work and sacrifice are your thing, that is completely fine, but please know that feeling good, while you are working hard and sacrificing, will help you be more productive, so that you can accomplish what you want in an easier and more effective way.
Can we uncover the secrets of not only being happy but also the many benefits that happiness brings us to give us a richer and healthier life? You bet!
This blog is an excerpt from my upcoming book Doing Happiness: Uncovering The Hidden Benefits of Feeling Good.
Are you crazy about art? I mean any kind of art. Do you get down to old Led Zeppelin tunes? Do you do needle point? Square dance? Do water colours? Woodburning? Do you paint amateurish acrylics of your dog doing water sports? Do you make needle point pillows of Harley Davidson motorcycles jumping through rings of fire? Well if you are doing any kind of art at all, or appreciating it (like our breathtaking jack o lantern up there) you are doing yourself a world of good.
It turns out, the arts are good for us. In a very big way.
I had the pleasure recently of speaking at a conference called The Art Heals Health, Health Heals Art Symposium in Toronto. There was a very impressive group of people there who are committed to exploring how the arts help all of us be healthier. There was a neurologist there named Dr Luis Fornazzariwho showed us incredible research (with diagrams of the brain that were lit up like Vegas on New Years)
This is what Vegas looks like at New Years
proving that when we either do or appreciate art in any form we are stimulating neural pathways and helping our brains stay healthy (I am assuming you only have one brain- I mean brains like “all of our brains”) It turns out that our brains really need to be exercised and stimulated on a regular basis to make sure our minds stay limber.
In my own research for my upcoming book Doing Happiness: Uncovering The Hidden Benefits of Feeling Good, I came across research that shows that art does other great stuff for us as well. Art helps make us happy! Yes, that’s right. As well as keeping our brains cooking, doing any kind of art (including Norwegian woodworking) can help us to be happier in a measurable way.
Want to know the best part? You do not have to be good at whatever you’re doing to get the benefits. That’s right. You can absolutely suck at your art and you’ll still get all the benefits to your health and level of happiness.
Don’t know what art to do? Here are a few suggestions…
1: Buy some acrylic paints (they’re cheap!) and paint a landscape. There are some GREAT lessons on youtube for every level of skill, and that’s a trip to ART CITY. I mean who doesn’t love Bob Ross?
2: Make a playlist with your most favourite music on it and go for a walk. It’s a great way to transport yourself to whole different way of thinking.
3: Dance like your choreographer is Gary Busey. (Wouldn’t that be interesting?)
4: Go to your local art Gallery and wander around. (If you want to sound impressive, mutter things like “How very didactically expressionistic!” even when ordering a coffee.) Personally, I am crazy about the AGO for a bunch of reasons.
Remember, you don’t actually have to make art, you can just appreciate it. Now we know that art is good for us and helps keep us smart, happy and gives us a shiny coat we can take advantage of it whenever we want, and remember you’re not wrecking the living room by painting a mural of your favourite Swedish Death Metal Band on the wall, your making art and staying healthy!
Wow! I wouldn’t have guessed that, but congratulations on being so acrobatic!
My favourite two minutes in the world is right before going onstage. Its a total blast. Its this incredible feeling that something big is about to happen and you really have no idea how its going to go. You’re completely in the moment and nothing seems to matter except the experience that you are about to have. As one of my heroes, Mr Robert Plant says “There is no place to hide”. Its especially fun when its 8:30 AM and you’re hopped up on three cups of joe.
I’m the guy in the red shirt who looks like he’s bringing in a plane.
Yesterday I had the absolute pleasure to speak at the 3rd National Forum on Patient Experience in Toronto. It was my job to stir up what I call the “Wisdom in The Room” and get folks cranked and ready to collaborate. After a few minutes this very generous crowd was sharing ideas and having a blast. There were medical professionals and patients there from all over the country who care deeply about the patient experience and how we can make it better. I was so taken by the depth of talent and integrity in the room.
All of the content was amazing and here are a few of my faves. There were folks fromNorth Bay Regional Health Centre who are doing great work with patient stories with Photovoice. People from Mississauga Halton CCACwho are improving the patient experience by actually involving patients in the health care system. (What? That’s crazy!) They backed up their research with some incredible stats on how they were actually able to reduce patient time in the hospital. Wow. I’ve also got to mention the amazing Dr. Shah from Anishnawbe Health Centre in Toronto. His dedication to service was quite inspiring.
The patients in the room really had their voices heard as well. My friend Zal Press from Patient Commando is always ready to kick butt and take down names. And he did.
The silence in the room was palpable when a patient told her emotional and moving story to the audience. She was asking hard questions that need to be answered. It was a terrific event and I was very proud to be a part of it.
With committed people like this working in Health Care in Canada, things are changing and I dare say its for the better.
Shout outs to Dr Joshua Teller and Angela Morin for hosting a great day.
Who doesn’t love nuns? Well, I’m sure there are a few people. However there is a specific group of nuns who can teach us about how happiness can really improve our health. There was a group of sisters in Milwaukee who signed up (I’m not sure if they “sign up,” it kind of makes it seem like they have a draft pick for nuns. “Sister Mary Margaret is a first round draft pick for Notre Dame, Bob!” “What a great choice for them Marv, she can rhyme off 12 hail Mary’s a minute. That’s really going to help them in the playoffs!”)
Anyway, one hundred and eighty nuns entered the order of Notre Dame back in the 1930’s and they measured how happy they were by looking at their diaries. After studying the “happy” or “unhappy” language in their diaries for many years and combining that with their levels of health and the length of their lives, they found that the happiest nuns outlived the unhappy nuns by an average of , wait for it…nine years. Nine years! That is an incredible difference if you ask me.
You could say “Ya but, what about differences in circumstances? Probably some nuns had a terrible life while others stayed at the Nun Club Med” Well, I am no expert on nuns (for a bunch of reasons) but according to the research, one of the reasons they studied nuns was that the sisters were living lives that were very similar in circumstance to each other. Their routines, food, and social lives were almost identical. This lead researchers to the conclusion that, all things being equal, “being happy” had a profound effect on the length of the lives of the sisters. It makes me think that feeling good can have huge benefits for us as well. So, it turns out that happiness is incredible good for us! You might be interested in my upcoming book “Doing Happiness: Uncovering the Hidden Secrets of Feeling Good.” More soon!
It was my first time attempt to dock a houseboat. I was spinning the wheel of the craft and praying that the slow moving boat would eventually obey my directions and turn. We were approaching a marina in the Trent Severn Waterway. We neared the dock a little quicker than I had hoped and I struggled to remember the instructional video we had seen the day before. We were supposed to approach at a certain angle and at a speed that was called “dead slow”. I was going more at a speed that could be called “dead fast”, and didn’t want all of us to be “actually dead” when we came into contact with the dock. I did my best to slow our progress. My brother-in-law on the bow said “Ok Robbie, slower, I think we got it.”
We finally nudged the dock very gently. I turned the wheel harder and threw it into reverse, bringing the stern of our intrepid ship in line with the dock as well. We tied up the boat and I finally exhaled. I had successfully docked for the first time. It wasn’t perfect mind you, but no one had been maimed and there was no damage to anything so I considered it a huge win. We scrambled off the boat and went to buy bait. I don’t usually feel like a super hero when I buy worms, but I did today. I heard a voice from further down the dock.
(what Weathered Marina Guy might have looked like)
“Who’s driving the boat?” asked Weathered Marina Guy.
“It was me!” I said in my manliest of voices (which is actually pretty damn manly).
“I have owned this marina for 30 years and that was the worst docking I have ever seen!”
I was pretty crushed, but wait there was more.
“I really don’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends, but really, that was terrible!” He was actually embarrassing me in front of my in laws, which was worse, but hey, who’s counting? He went on for a while about how lousy I was at operating a craft and with a somewhat withered sense of self esteem, we were on our way.
Free of the humiliating clutches of Weathered Marina Guy, we approached the locks at Buckhorn. Again, I had never done anything like go through a lock while piloting a boat, but we went for it. I had to do everything possible to not think about what Weathered Marina Guy had said to me a couple of hours before. I approached at “dead slow” and cruised by several boasts that looked like they might be worth more than a small house. Once again I held my breath. The huge doors of the lock opened and we went in. Water rushed in and rushed out. The lockmaster was amazingly helpful and in 30 minutes we were lowered about 10 feet and were on our way.
I was thrilled. Ordinarily, having somebody tell me I was terrible at something would have been really tough to take. However, right after the experience I was able to redeem myself and once again, started to feel pretty good.
We celebrated by finding a spot near some cliffs that was 20 feet deep and jumped off our houseboat into the cool water below. It was some of the most fun I’ve had in a while. Funny enough, I was holding a Go Pro while I did it. so, you can see it too.
Have a great day everybody and remember, having a blast is the best revenge!
Many thanks to Egan Houseboat Rentals! They are great people who really know what they are doing.
